MATTY: 100% shambles 100% of the time.

notwifi:

when you get caught in a lie and you have to make up another lie on the spot but you can’t think of anything.

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(via dilfgod)

timtampon:

timtampon:

I was talking to my friend on the phone and then she almost got run over and i was obviously really concerned so i asked her if she was okay and after a moment she replied “there is a Jesus in the sky” in a really matter-of-fact sort of way
so obviously I thought something was seriously wrong butimage

omg please don’t bring this back
People are converting because of this post and I’m actually Jewish oh god I fucked up

(via tenderp)

exam:

"Woman of Substance" x "Ecstasy of the lillies" by Octavio Ocampo

(via cerlys)

  • me, about to get mauled to death by a wolf: puppy! who's a handsome puppy

margygur:

margygur:

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY CAT ALLL DAY AND AFrer WALKING OUT LOOKING FOR HER I SEE HER IN THE NEIGHBOURS WINDOW ALL THE WINDOWS AND DOORS ARE LOCKED AND THEY ARE ON HILIDAY HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUC K

image

image

imageTHAT IS MY CAT AND THAT IS NOT MY HOSUE 

(via velizzieraptor)